I think my vagina is haunted
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
