is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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