The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
splinters make it hard to masturbate
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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