forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
