So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
