these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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