You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
