Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
