i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
