Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
