My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
