They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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