will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
