she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
