i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
