return my video game
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize