We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
