I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
