You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
