Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize