I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize