His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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