shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
