Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
