he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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