let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
