Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
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