Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
