how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
