No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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