I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
