we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
