oh god the rape fog is back!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
