Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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