Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
