My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
