u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
