Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
