i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Dignity is for republicans.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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