using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize