you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
