Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
it's great music for shaving your balls
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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