You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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