you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
