It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
