ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
