i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
