She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
50% drunk capacity currently
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
