he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
