so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
