you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
