lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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