Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
