Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
