this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
