rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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