hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
