Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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