i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
