You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize