If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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