all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
