there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i dont even know how to be here
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
