ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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